“We ain’t ever getting older.”

The existence of a parallel universe has finally been proven — well…kinda. Future Nostalgia, a new retrowave music genre, has taken YouTube by storm over the last few years. Warning! Extremely good music ahead…

Future Nostalgia is an unofficial term for contemporary pop songs transformed into 80s hits. People are writing about their memories of hearing these songs. If you go onto the YouTube comments for the songs, you’ll see stories about people’s fake memories of the songs — they make for very hilarious reading.

For example:

A comment on a video of an 80s version of Fifth Harmony — Sledgehammer:

“Fun fact : My aunt Valerie was in the line up to be in Fifth Harmony, but got dropped before their debut single because she got pregnant and was replaced by Normani. She…

Credit: Pawel Czerwinski, Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/1MjT7oigkzM

Just a mish-mash of awesome Bowie songs that deserve more attention…

I have been an avid, maybe even rabid, Bowie fan since I was a child. I did have a brief phase where I was obsessed with Elvis in my early twenties though it turns out it was one of those classic phases I think a lot of lesbians have with quiffs and rock ’n’ roll.

David Bowie was different though. The first ever gig I went to was Bowie. I saved up my birthday money to buy a ticket to his 2003 Reality tour at Wembley Arena, I cried when he sang Starman. I was 14 years old and, like…

OK, it wasn’t really a day, but more of a slow realisation.

This isn’t drugs. This is Andrew’s Salts (my favourite drink at the moment because I’m 90)

I’ve been an alcoholic since I was a teenager — I just didn’t know it until about two years ago. It still took me another year to stop drinking altogether, but we’ll get to that.

I was that girl who was the life and soul of every party. I was the one who made everyone laugh. I was absolutely fucking wild. And I was in love with alcohol.

Alcohol is the big mama of all my addictions and wowee was it the hardest one to knock on the…

I dunno what this image symbolises. I just thought it was very cool. Credit: Unsplash (of course haha)

Surely life and death are completely opposite things? Actually, they’re so closely intertwined that one literally cannot exist without the other! What about if we started using the concept of death to make life decisions and as a motivational tool?

A third of us think about our own death on a weekly basis. Stuff that makes us think of our own mortality include all the obvious ones such as seeing news reports about death and the death of a family member, as well as others such as reaching a milestone age, a medical diagnosis, creating our own wills and terrorism.

If loads of us are experiencing these thoughts, then instead of feeling anxious about our own deaths, why not turn it into something motivational so we can get the most out of our lives? …

A cat hiding from a catcalling man (I needed a nice, cute pic because this post is about something horrible) Credit: https://unsplash.com

Over the weekend, my teenage sister came to visit me in my small town. On her way here she had already sent me a text saying there were a lot of shirtless men shouting and jeering at passers-by. With hot weather brings hot-tempered men, apparently.

My sister then arrived at the train station only to be cat-called by two “men.” The reason I put speech marks around the word men is because to me they’re not men — more like attention-seeking children. Yes, they were in their twenties but they don’t deserve to be called men.

By the way, this…

Credit: My very own cyst

GENDER REVEAL ALERT!

I am so pleased to announce I am having…

an endometrial cyst!

It’s 7 cm in size right now, so it’s a whopper!

Due to come out: Spring 2019

Ideas for names are welcome!

Yes, I know, I look like a boy. I’ve heard it all before!

8 years old: Climbing a lampost after school. A younger kid says: “Mummy, why has that boy got long hair.” The kid’s mum said “Sometimes it’s nice for boys to have long hair.” Fair play to the mum, she was being positive about boys looking different.

10 years old: Girl at school — “You look like Seb (a boy in our class) when your hair’s all wet”

(I’m starting to hit puberty now so, strangely, people call me a boy or a man more and more…)

11 years old: In a queue in the chemist, a woman says to her…

Beth Kennedy

Sporadic writings on gender, feminism, LGBTQIA+, addiction and music (the last two go hand in hand for me 🤣)

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